The Five Love Languages – Gary Chapman

Interesting. I just looked through the table of contents of this book, and that was plenty, but I kinda liked the main thought. There are, according to the author, five love languages, and everyone has one ”primary love language”, or perhaps two. Here they come:

  1. Words of affirmation
  2. Quality time
  3. Receiving gifts
  4. Acts of service
  5. Physical touch

So if your primary love language is words of affirmation, you really feel that someone loves you when they give you compliments and tell you how much they appreciate what you do, and that’s probably how you show to someone else that you love them. This pertains to more than man-woman relationships, but also for example to your family or friends. The problem is, if someone else’s primary love language is receiving gifts and yours is quality time, you can have a misunderstanding. Say your husband gives you gifts thinking that that is what will show that he loves you, but since your love language is quality time you try to show him you love him by making time for him. If you’re not aware of this both of you can feel unloved.

Anywho, it’s kinda fun to try and figure out what you are, or maybe what others are. I recognized right away that mine are #4 and a little of #2, the others mostly make me feel uncomfortable (although I’ve learned to endure hugs from various acquaintances). For example, I’ve always felt very strongly that dad loves me as he always takes time to help me with stuff, even when he’s really busy or it’s not something really important. Well anyway, that was that and maybe it’ll give somebody a new way of thinking on things… not like so many are reading this, but whatever…

~ av christa89 på januari 10, 2008 - 21:19.

4 svar to “The Five Love Languages – Gary Chapman”

  1. Yay, some English at last!

    ”Well anyway, that was that and maybe it’ll give somebody a new way of thinking on things… not like so many are reading this, but whatever…”

    Am I the only one?😛 I even tried to get people from my blog to come here, but at least when it comes to comments that doesn’t seem to have had any effect…

    This is tricky, but it did put things in a new perspective. I’d have to say that my primary is #2 – there’s nothing like doing things with the people you care for! 4 and 5 come in second. (You’re actually one of the very few female friends I’ve never huged – and at the moment, I don’t feel you’d want me too even as friends)

    1 and 3 are not bad, but #1 isn’t something I use to often (in my family, saying ”I love you” or something similar has never been traditional), and #3 is mainly for special occasions, not an every-day-I-care-for-you thing.

    Now I’ll feel compelled to volunteer to carry your books or something at school😛

  2. ”Now I’ll feel compelled to volunteer to carry your books or something at school” – oh, please *rolls eyes*

    17 hits both today and yesterday, so things are looking up… although still quite pathetic I admit😀

    The only time I voluntarily hug ppl is if they cry.

  3. Btw, ”words of affirmation” doesn’t necessarily mean saying I love you but just anything, like ”nice shoes”. Some people make it sound so natural but it tends to sound clumsy and unnatural when I say it…

  4. […] hungry or not is totally insignificant to me right then. My needs come later. This is also why my primary love language is acts of service. (Imagine, that book of wishy-washy humbug actually came in […]

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